Eternals (2021)

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Kit Harrington, Richard Madden, Selma Hayek, Gemma Chan, Kumail Nanjaini, Lia McHugh, Brian Tyree Henry, Lauren Ridloff, Barry Keoghan

My Rating: 2.5/5 Stars

Rotten Tomatoes: 47% Critics, 78% Audience

Rotten Tomatoes Description: “Marvel Studios’ Eternals features an exciting new team of Super Heroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ancient aliens who have been living on Earth in secret for thousands of years. Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, an unexpected tragedy forces them out of the shadows to reunite against mankind’s most ancient enemy, the Deviants.”

Short Version:

A movie that aims to high and too far, it is compelling with its fantastical fight sequences and lovable characters, but it falls short in the nuance and composition of the film, something I never would have said about early Marvel films.  Eternals, when it comes down to it, needed to be more than one film to encompass the breadth and depth of the story they were trying to tell.  Instead, it was a half-mastered film with pacing issues that made it feel longer than its 2.5 hour run time.

Long Version:

So, I’m going to be honest.  I have seen this film twice now.  Once in theaters where I was a little enchanted and a little bit more willing to just experience it, and once at home, when it became clear how deeply flawed the movie is.  From writing and plotting, to structure, even visual effects.  It is a Marvel film, and it skirts the surface of entertainment with its wild storylines, epic battles, and frankly radically attractive cast, but it lacks real depth.

So let’s break it down. I want to start with the writing on the film.  It is the fundamental element of film: storytelling.  And these writers were working with characters and storylines from the comics already at their disposal.  Half of their work was done for them.  Yet they still managed to create a movie that lacked depth, knee cap some of the best characters in the film, and create a film that was more about a broken up couple with ideological differences than a ensemble film.  Frankly, it makes me want to pull my hair out.  Not to mention that in the finale, it came down to a MCU Civil War style fight, but then the deviant/alien dude just rolls up with his ideological issues and weird tentacles to distract a fighter when there is already a plethora of action occurring.  They imagine it like a convergence, another element to ratchet the stakes up, but due to the poor writing, y’all I forgot this slimy dude was in the movie. We had turned so hard into the internal conflict in the Eternals that he effectively disappeared.  Then he’s back, wow!  It’s like the dragons at the end of Shang-Chi. They are cool to view, but they diminish the story while they are present.  Thena should have killed him before the final battle, as the plot evolved toward internal rift.

Additionally, with the amount of information that needed to be contained in the film, it should have been split into two movies.  If I were in the writers room, I would have split it into the moments before the Eternals split up, showing their first battle with the deviants, their travel to Earth, their movement through civilization, and then the present, when the deviants and emergence coincide.  This would achieve two things, it would cement the Eternals into our history and showcase their gifts organically, as well as allow us to build deeper relationships with characters, especially Ajax, whose death is supposed to be a tragic moment in the film, but comes out a little bleh.  It would also allow for foreshadowing of the later reveal of the Eternals true origins, and give more texture to the deviant storyline.  In my mind, the first movie ends with Thena’s illness and the choice to go separate ways. Then they’d have the time to establish a real ensemble film.  Imagine seeing Druid and Makari’s almost romance truly fleshed out, and Gilgamesh and Thena growing together as people, not as warriors.

Splitting into two films would also have resolved some of the structural issues created from the half-now/half-then storylines.  The flashes to the past were to establish character and history, but do we need like a super uncomfortable sex scene that lasts way to long.  We could have more meaningful moments, like the wedding, extended if it was split.  We could even see the reason Ikaris and Sersi split.  (Guys, seriously, hire me, I can help.)

Then, my friends, we have the effects.  So, I personally love the gold filigree that denotes the powers of the Eternals.  Sprite storytelling effects, Thena’s weapons, and Phastos’s mechanics, its beautiful.  It weaves into the fabric of the film, but then there is the battles. It starts with Thena’s three second long dismount from the deviant at the start of the film, where it becomes so obvious that there were wires being used.  It happens again and again where the effects draw attention from the action, not letting me get immersed in the film, the worst of them are when Ikarus yeets off into the sun.  It’s rough, fam.  Like Sersi’s transformation of the celestial.  Or Sersi getting stabbed.  I could go on, but I think I’ll leave it there.

You know what the worst part is?  This film had the potential to be so good. Look at these characters and the depth of their creation.  The fact that they long for a home they never had, and hold their opinions so deeply that they will go to battle over them.  The use of real sign language in the film, and the fact that it is used for some of the best lines in the film.  And the vast and different personalities.  Phastos becomes one of my favorite characters for the way he develops on the screen, the push to help the people, until his help leads to devastation.  The turn from the magical, to embrace the mundane.  There is a beauty in it.  The characters deserve better.  I can only hope in the future that they might get better.

I’ll end as always, with my favorite moments, because for all this film didn’t do right, its little details did manage to remain with me, often dialogue quips. Here you go, friends:

• Finger Guns
• Sersi saving the schoolgirl during the earthquake
• Dane’s birthday party/gift
• “Are you a wizard?”
• “No-Stairs.”
• “Well, I guess you must be the pilot.”
• “Nothing, just the screams of my deep disappointment.”
• Gilgamesh choosing to stay with Thena.
• “Actually, when we first met he thought I was a vampire and tried to stake me through the heart.”
• Gilgamesh’s “kiss the cook:” apron
• Sersi’s ringtone for Dane being “Juice”
• Sersi turning the deviant into a tree
• Phastos’s family
• “What is this even made of? Vibranium?” “Ikea, fall collection.”
• Karun’s funeral for Gilgamesh
• Phastos’s freakout when Thena stepped on the chip bag
• “Is that the ebony blade?” “Excalibur.”
• The hostile twinkie exchange
• “You know what’s never saved the planet? Your sarcasm.”
• The Eternals interacting with Jack.
• Sersi getting plucked off the planet in the middle of a date.

Thanks for stopping by. As always, images are taken from the film and belong to the production companies and Marvel. Look out later this week for Don’t Look Up!